hell0 ppl!! been preti l0ng since i last updated rite..hehe! preti bz lately. juggling b0th sk0ol and werk. tough u n0e! n n0t juz sk0ol n werk al0ne..i still haf t0 make time f0r my frenz n my cayang..cann0t f0rget dem rite..no matter h0w bz i m i wld always find time, if n0t make time f0r dem. hehe! they're like d few precious ppl in my life..l0ve dem s0 much!
reminds me 0f wad happen last time..wen i was wif my previous guy..sheesh! i aband0ned all my frenz..my family t0o. i t0tally sh0ved dem aside..f0rget bout dem juz like dat. i was s0 dumb. was s0o bad at managing my time..still am i gez..haha! wen it comes to studies esp. but im trying my bez! ..m0st 0f u dun n0e bout my previous guy rite?..k i dun mind writing dis all in my bl0g..its like a less0n f0r me..i learnt fr0m it..s0 yeah..share it wif u guys lah.
G0t to noe him thru a fren 0f mine..we 0nly msged each 0ther..dun even talk 0n d f0n 0r nething..den he wanted t0 meet me...i was like..ouh ok sure! (dumbass!) he was still serving his NS den..in d army..he' an ex matrep..dats wad he claims neway..well i dun0e..he still seems t0 be preti active n inv0lved wif it all..yeah s0 we met..after werk..i went all d way t0 lavender..bdk giler! i was s0o freakin dumb! i finished werk like rnd 8..i was werkin at JHT den..sum fact0ry ..werrked der f0r like 6 days only..wahaha! s0 i made my way der..i was al0ne! n he was wif a fren..sum civil defence guy..he's a funny guy, his fren..haha! but d point is dat i was s0o dumb t0 meet sum guy at nite..n i was AL0NE! but lucky me! n0thing happenned hehe! count my blessings! we juz chill around till 11..den only did i head h0me..
s0on after we sumhow got t0gether..i dunn0e h0w..if im n0t wr0ng..it was thru sms! wad d?! itz such a dumb way! its like s0o fuckin insincere! wahaha! mcm b0d0h! n dis dumb gerl accepted it blindly! i dunn0e y..i gez i was preti pressured den..ppl were like askin n askin.."u attached? y n0t?!" den dey will b like..."ouh..jual mahal ah nie!"..th0se c0mments sumh0w got me pressured t0 haf a guy..haiz..s0o st0opid..den gedebak gedebuk..we went out..blah2..
we can only meet during d weekends..everytime he b0oks out..i always pick him up..sanggup tau! n he b0oks out at pasir ris..f0rm jur0ng to pasir ris!!! all d way in d train..al0ne! n der were a few times wen he b0oked out at like 9am!! n it was a saturday!! n i asked my mum to wake me up at 7am!! on a saturday!! den t0ok d train..al0ne..s0o sleepy..all d way t0 pasir ris..1hr!! reached der..had t0 wait f0r him...haiz..sanggup giler!! i can realli care f0r sumone like crazy..seriously! but if u dun appreciate it..wad f0r rite?..dats wad happen..he didnt..
we didnt last l0ng...but i've been t0 his house..met his parents..his sis, his aunt, his grndma..he's talked t0 my mum b4..i've acc0mpanied him t0 d h0spital afew times..i've been in his frens car...i've argued wif him...he's treatened f0r a break up b4...he've made me cry...he's such an ass!
n im such an idiot!! he's preti pr0tective..my mum didnt even gif me ne curfews..but he asked me t0 be h0me by at least 10..but i said n0way..n he said fine 11 den..fuck arh! dat nite i came h0me like round 12+..it was my grad nite, he was s0 freakin pissed..dat nite he threatened f0r a brk up..i cant remember y..over sumthing dumb! it was my grad nite..n ppl were havin fun inside n i was crying outside..dat fucker ruined it all! i shud haf accepted d break up! instead..i ap0logised f0r wadeva..n let him hurt me m0re!
n all dis while..i t0ld n0 one..n0t even my bez fren..esp her. i didnt tell her c0z i n0e she's g0nna get all noisy n stuff..dats c0z she care..but i didnt tell her..i t0ld no one bout dis all..till d 3rd day dat we g0t together den only did she g0t to noe bout us. she wasnt d first to noe..c0z i was scared dat she wld..urmm ntah lah..she seriously dislike him..seriously 'hate' him!i abandonned all my frenz..like didnt even contact dem..i juz sat at h0me wen he's at camp..den during weekends..g0 out wif him..frenz? family? t0lak tepi..
he lied. saying dat he n0t involved wif gangs n stuff nem0re. he lied. dat was a lie. sumtimes wen we g0 out. suddenly he wld get a call. den he suddenly haf t0 go off. sumthing urgent. suddenly he haf t0 g0 to whereva lah...even in camp he g0t int0 l0ts 0f trouble..beat up sum ppl...he even AWOL..haiz..i cared t0o much f0r him..but he juz didnt seem t0 appreciate it all..cum t0 think 0f it..der wasnt much l0ve in it..i didnt l0ve him..i juz cared f0r him...it hurts u n0e, t0 care f0r sumone s0 much..wen he gets int0 trouble 0r gets hurt..it actuali hurts! i t0ld him no..but he ign0red..wen he g0t int0 trouble..turn to me again...wen he get hurt..turn t0 me.. bodoh! tak pikir pasal 0rg lain! i hanged 0n t0 d realtionship c0z i felt dat he
needed me. he needed sumone..but fuck all dat shit! b0doh! takleh pikir sendiri! ders m0re lah..but i dun wanna write bout it..
he didnt all0w me t0 go to gigs even...but im as stubb0rn as always..wad d0 i care! i l0ve going to gigs! no one can st0p me fr0m d0ing wad i l0ve...he kept calling at d gig. i didnt answer all his calls. by dat time i was already thinking 0f breaking up wif him..it was punkr0ck returns i remember..s0 gald i went!hu n0es wad wld haf happen if i didnt g0 t0 d gig..haha! n0t long after i br0ke up wif him...but a m0nth after d break up he msged me..asking f0r a patch..said dat he's changed n stuff..but nah! wads past is past..i kindda wasted my time wif him..but it actualli g0t me wiser sumh0w...hmm wads d point 0f me saying all dis? hmm..nvm lah..wahaha!
nvm dat was last time..s0 last time!
n0w im s0o glad i've found him..my cayang!! l0ve him s0o much! i dun 0nly care f0r him..its m0re den dat..much deeper den dat...sayang dier! cant believe it..4 mnths+ n still going str0ng..hehe! my fren shaiful bet dat we wldnt last up t0 3 mnths..but l0ok n0w! almost 5 mnths!! hehe! l0ve him s0o much! u can never be replaced! muackz!!
0mg! dah 4.10am..bl0m tid0 lagi! bes0k sk0ol!! ish!! haha! k till nxt time..bye!!
